Sunday, June 7, 2015

Spoiled, Bumblebee

Imagine these lyrics sung by a five-year old daughter confronting her parents in the aisle of a toy store... at the speed and to the tune of Rimsky-Korsakov's “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” Can you do it in 1 min: 49 seconds?

Spoiled Little Girl:
Daddy!
Can I have it?
Oh, I need it!
Can I have it?
Will you get it for me, daddy?
I can’t live without it, daddy.
It’s so pretty and I love it.
Will you buy me what I covet?
I’ll be good, I promise daddy?
...if you let me have it now.
Please dad. Now I need it!
And I want it!
Can’t believe you never bought it.
It’s the newest in the set...
...and it’s the bestest of the best.
There’s not a toy I love more...
...in this entire toy store.
And this doll is so sublime.
But for a limited time.

Determined Dad:
No! No! No! No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No! No!

Spoiled Little Girl:
I’ll go ask my mom, and
...then I’ll tell on you, ‘cause
You are being very mean to me.
(she finds mommy in the next aisle)
Mommy, can I have it?
Oh, I need it can I have it?
Will you get it for me, Mommy?
I can’t live without it, mommy.
It’s so pretty and I love it.
Will you buy me what I covet?
I’ll be good I promise.

Patient Mother:
Tell me what did daddy say?
Tell me what did daddy say?

Spoiled Little Girl:
Daddy, daddy he said, “No!”
But he was being very mean.
(Sob)
You never let me have it.
What I want you never get me.
You don’t like me!
You don’t love me!
And you wish you never had me!
If you loved me then you’d buy it.
But instead you make me cry.
It happens every single time.
I don’t know why I even try.
I’m gonna fuss and scream and shout.
And then I’ll whine and moan and pout.
And then I’ll pitch a little fit.
And then my eyes I’m gonna squint.
I’m gonna lay here on the floor.
'Cause you don’t love me anymore.
You never buy me any stuff.
And when you do it’s not enough.
What did I ever do except to.
Love and honor you?
You never let me have my way.

Fit to Be Tied Daddy:
You never listen anyway.
You’ve got at least a dozen dolls like this at home.
You never play with them.
They sit there all alone.

Spoiled Little Girl:
(Tantrum interlude)

That's It Daddy:
You can act this way while we’re inside the store.
'Cause the cameras.
They are all set to record.
But when we get into the van.
I’m gonna whip your little can.
Unless you get up off the floor.
'Cause I can’t take it anymore.
Instead of buying that new doll.
We can go home and play some ball.
So, let’s go home.

SPOILED BUMBLE BEE
David Lewis Crawford, on his music CD
DOUBLE DOG DARE
Family Songs from a Whimsical Heart
"Approved Therapy for Parents and Grandparents"

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