Saturday, March 10, 2001

The Joy of Suffering

The following letter was written to my elderly Aunt who's husband, Burton, was dying in a rest home. At the same time she was recovering from cancer therapy that had physically incapacitated her and which would dramatically shorten her life. I just hope this all makes sense to me near the end of my life. 


Stanley D. Williams, PhD
Northville, Michigan

Mrs. Burton Winke
Troy, Michigan

March 10, 2001

Dear Aunt Hope,

It was good to spend time with you, Uncle Burt and his son Raymond yesterday. It was a meaningful time. Times of great sickness and pain should have special meaning for a Christian. In a deep theological way the word "joy" comes to mind, although in a practical way we don't experience laughter and smiles. But, for the Christian, the concept of "joy" carries connotations of "meaningfulness," and "purpose." It is Christ's suffering and death, not his life and resurrection, that bought our salvation. It is the Crucifixion that is the center of all history, for it was on Calvary that God extended to us eternal life and made sense of the suffering of his people in the centuries before.

The answer to the question, "How can a loving and all powerful God allow so much pain and suffering?" is the central question of all existence, because, in its answer we come to Jesus Christ and discover the meaning, purpose, and deep-seated joy that his passion, suffering and death, has for all mankind.

Thus it is that Christians should look upon suffering as a special and meaningful time, filled with great purpose.

I Hate God
A young woman came to Bishop Fulton Sheen one time in a rage and in hatred toward God, because she believed that God had allowed her only daughter to die. "Why," she demanded of the bishop, "did God allow such a terrible thing to happen to me?". Sheen replied, "I'll tell you why your daughter died. It was so that you would be here today and hear about God's love." Moments later, The woman broke down and began her eventual road to God, salvation and a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ. Her daughter died so that she might be saved.

Murder Begets Redemption
When the murderous Acua Indians killed Jim Elliot and his four companions, there was outrage among many that did not understand the ways of God. But, there in the jungle of Ecuador (not unlike the wilderness of Christ's passion), God understood as others later did, that the only way to get to the hearts of the Acua was through an act that they had perfected to a science—murder. The Acua practiced murder, vengeance, and retribution like Arnold Palmer practiced golf. How does a missionary get through to a tribe of jungle natives like that. God knew. It was to allow the Acua to kill true Christians who did not practice retaliation with vengeance. Instead, these Christians led in part by Jim's wife Elisabeth, practiced sacrificial love. Thus, it was that the missionaries murderous deaths were offered up by their wives and by Christ as a ransom, and as a redemption for the salvation of a whole nation. Although Elisabeth Elliot continues to claim that she doesn't know why her husband had to die that day, the title of her best selling book about the murders, indicates that she knows all too well the importance of Christian suffering. The book's title is Through Gates of Splendor.

Suffering in Scripture
When Christians are open to the suffering that God allows them to experience, He can bring about great redemption in their lives and the lives around them. Here are verses in the Bible that point to this truth. The translation is the New Revised Standard. The essence or premise of these verses is: Suffering for the Christian, always brings with it a greater redemption. The corollary of this axiom is: There can be no redemption without suffering. Ultimately that suffering is Christ's, but because we are his children and heirs, he allows us to suffer with him.

When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.
—Romans 8:15b-17

We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope [the lack of pain which is not seen] we were saved.
—Romans 8:22-24

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies.
—2 Corinthians 4:8-10

For while we live, we are always being given up to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you...Yes, everything is for your sake, so that grace as it extends to more and more people, may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
—2Corinthians 4:11, 15

So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure.
—2 Corinthians 4:16-17

For he has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but of suffering for him as well.
—Philippians 1:29

I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am completing what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church...It is he whom we proclaim, warning everyone that teaching everyone in all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ."
—Colossians 1:24, 28

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking on nothing.
—James 1:2-4

So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
—2 Corinthians 12:9-10


The Enigma of Leon Porter
February 21, 2000, on the Northwest Flight to Orlando, the bulkhead aisle seat I am normally able to reserve for myself was unavailable and I was given the center seat next to it. It was cramped and uncomfortable. But the flight was to be anything but unfortunate. For, a few minutes later a wheel chair came down the aisle to deposit in the seat next to me a large, muscular, clean cut black man. He was paralyzed from the waist down and he had to be lifted into the seat next to me. He had been shot in Pontiac, MI during a drug related fight between warring gangs. At that time, ten years earlier, he had been on the fringe of the drug trade. After the shooting, he spent six years of excruciating painful rehabilitation.

Today, Elder Leon Porter is the full time youth minister at New Mount Moriah Missionary Baptist Church in Pontiac. That day with me on the plane, he was traveling with several other ministers to a conference in Florida. As we got to know each other, I made a comment to him about how terrible and awful it must have been to be shot and go through the many years of pain associated with his disability. He looked at me and said, "You don't get it. Being shot was the best thing that ever happened to me. It caused me to turn to God. I became a Christian. God is my savior. And my continued disability is a tangible reminder to the kids I minister to every day, of the pain and destruction of sin. I'm a rolling object lesson. The suffering I've been through continues to be part of Christ's redemption for many young people." Leon is completing in the flesh what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of the other young people he daily meets.

The Suffering of Michael Zahodne
My friend, Mike Zahodne, died at age 41 from childhood diagnosed diabetes. Since the age of 7 he learned to stick a needle into his fingers every few hours to test his blood. He married Joanne and together they had two children: John and Katie. During high school they saw their father continuously in and out of hospitals. The last few years, every few months, the doctors would cut off another part of Mike's body where gangrene threatened his life. By the time I met Mike, both legs and one arm were gone. On his right hand, all he had left was a thumb and index finger. Even though he had no calves, ankles, feet or toes, his nerves continued to tell him that they were still there and were in the process of being cut off. The pain never ceased. Dialysis made him so sick between sessions that he could not hold food down, and for the past year he had refused it. He had a kidney transplant from his mother (both of his had failed) but now his mother's kidney was only operating at 15%. Slowly, over the months that I knew Mike, his body swelled up from the gathering toxins that would eventually kill him. He threw-up the hospital food they brought him. Once while we were talking, his dinner came up and I cleaned up the mess.

For the eight months before he died I often brought him communion from church. He was a life-long Catholic and understood the significance of The Eucharist (what Catholics sacramentally believe and the Apostles taught is the real body of Jesus Christ (John 6). The Eucharist, of course, is the "celebration" of Christ's suffering and death. It's a celebration because in Christ's suffering and death we have eternal life and forgiveness.

I asked Mike one day as I was interviewing him for his biography, if he was bitter or angry at God for the lifetime of pain and suffering he had sustained. He said something like this to me: "Stan, I have family and friends like you that love me and visit me and do all manner of nice things for me. My Lord, when he was suffering and dying, had nobody. They all left him, even Peter denied the Lord's friendship. How can I complain? My Lord, suffered far more than I did. If my suffering can bring others to God and reconcile the relationship between my mom and wife, then it is all worth it.

Suffice it to say, Mike's suffering had deep and eternal redemptive purpose. A videotape was made of his testimony several months before his death that was used in a Christian retreat for youth. A teleplay for television was written about his life, death and Christian witness, and may one day be produced and seen by millions. His two children are models of purity, discipline and character. His son John, is now a Freshman at the United States Naval Academy. Those that know John say he will someday be either the President or the Pope. Such is the product of Christian pain and suffering.

I could go on and on, about the blessings we experienced and those that rededicated their lives to God through Pam's cancer.

Of course, not all the pain and suffering that Christians suffer has a redemptive outcome. Why? Because Christians don't see the pain and suffering as a gift. They see it as a burden that comes only from Satan. So, God accommodates. As he always does, he answers our prayers.

The Death of Kevin Zambo
But there are some, like Marty Zambo that understand differently the purpose of grave pain and even death of Christians. Marty's son was Kevin an honors graduate of Fairlane Christian High School where his dad was the school janitor. Kevin was an outstanding Christian young man gifted with athletic ability and academic smarts. My wife, Pam, who taught at the school, encouraged Kevin and helped a little in his application to the United States Naval Academy where he was accepted. Occasionally, on our visits to see our son Josh at the Academy, we'd see Kevin, smartly dressed in his uniform. Despite the hazing that plebe's receive, Kevin always wore a broad smile. His Christian faith was strong and real. Yet tragedy would soon strike.

Just before returning to the USNA as an Academy "Youngster" (Sophomore), Kevin attended a church youth social near his home in suburban Detroit. Near midnight, he was riding his motorcycle home when a truck ran a red light, hit Kevin's bike and sent Kevin's body sprawling across the intersection. Minutes later, Kevin was pronounced dead at the scene.

Several days later Josh flew in from Annapolis and we all went to the funeral home to pay our respects. The Navy was there with full honors and Kevin lay in his casket, a folded United States flag tucked between his body and the coffin. The greeting room was large and packed with people of all ages and walks of life. At the head of the reception line was Marty Zambo greeting visitors who seemed to be in the hundreds, an uncommonly large number for such a gathering. As Pam and I eased our way into the line and as the line crept slowly forward, we began to understand the attraction to this seemingly cursed family who had lost their only proud son to a reckless driver.

When I came to Marty, whom I had only met once or twice before, Marty looked at me, his eyes clear, his face bright and smiling and gripped my hand with the firmness and assurance of a winning politician. Before I could say a word of condolence or how sorry I was about Kevin's untimely death, Marty embraced me, as he had everyone before, and prayed for me and blessed me, and asked God to shower me with blessings. He prayed and prayed and prayed for me, as he did everyone else. I do not think I was ever able to say my little rehearsed and now insignificant speech about how sorry I was, or how terrible the accident was, or how unfortunate the family was. You see, Marty had fully understood on Kevin's behalf Paul's encouragement to Timothy:

As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
— 2Timothy 4:6-8

 Marty had succeed in raising Kevin and ushering him into heaven (our eternal hope of glory). But, at that very hour, there in a dingy funeral on the outskirts of Detroit, the light of Christ was illuminating hundreds of people through Marty's joy in Christ. I don't really know, but my study of the faces and voices on that afternoon indicated that many, many people, because of Kevin's death and Marty's ministry of reconciliation, rededicated their souls to God. Just as Christ died, so we are asked to take up His cross and die, for we are Christ's body, his church.

Paul understood that while we physically may suffer, so our spirits would be filled with the antithesis of suffering—consolation. In classic Christian literature you'll read about the consolation of the saints while facing death or the consolation experienced by cloistered nuns and monks whose lives of contemplation are given over to full time prayer for the world. In this sense consolation means a great comfort and peace, the assurance of goodness, or the deep sense of rightness and deep seated joy.

For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ. If we are being afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation; if we are being consoled, it is for your consolation, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we are also suffering.
—2 Corinthians 1:5-7

We Always Know Why
In times of suffering, ministers and others will offer words of consolation like, "We don't know why these things happen. All we can do is trust God."

These are unfortunate words because the reasons for suffering are clear to both ministers and people close to the victims of suffering, if not the victims themselves.

1.   Christian ministers know that suffering, in general, is punishment for original sin. We physically die because God placed a curse on Adam that we inherited. "You shall surely die..." God said, and suffering is part of that death. This is the underlying basis for the next two reasons. What people often mean when they say, "We don't know why so-and-so suffered or died" is that we think God's plan for our life is so mysterious that we can never know it. And while this is true on a micro level, it is false on a macro level. From the days of ancient Israel to modern Christianity, we suffering and die because we are under Adam's curse. Why suffering attacks us at one point in time or another is perhaps answered by the next two reasons. But, ultimately, we suffer because Adam sinned. It's that simple. It's that clear.

2.   Ministers also know that we suffer because we are connected in some way to specific violations of the spiritual laws of the universe. When we or someone close to us breaks their spiritual relationship with God and sins, some level of emotional or physical trauma always results. The violation may be conscious and premeditated, or unconscious and subliminal, but the violation always has a consequence. For instance, adultery never affects just the offending parties, but also destroys the trust and loyalty with others. Likewise stealing and lying affect self confidence as guilt constructs obstacles to normal mental processes. Even for the non-Christian all of this is true, for the effects of breaking spiritual laws are substantiated by modern psychology although, at times, different terms are used.

3.   Lastly, and this is typically known to those close to the suffering victim if not the victim himself, suffering can be the result of a violation of the physical laws of the universe. Sometimes the violation is conscious and premeditated. Other times a law has been broken unawares. But the violation, nonetheless occurs. Such violations occur when we eat spoiled food, fall down the stairs, are exposed to a carcinogen, or unknowingly strain a muscle. Sometimes the suffering is immediate, other times it takes days or decades to appear. Marty Zambo died because he was careless and the drunk driver was reckless. Mike Zahodne died because of an incurable disease and because he rarely followed the regimen of diet and exercise prescribed for diabetics. Leon Porter got shot because he was associating with gangs that shoot people. In each of these cases, and most others, the reason for the suffering can be clearly identified by the honest and inquisitive person.

But, all of this suffering can be redeemed if we offer it up to Christ for the salvation of ourselves and others. Just as Christ offered up his body for the salvation of the world, we are Christ's body and we are asked to complete in our flesh the sufferings of Christ on behalf of individuals and the church. For, it is through physical suffering that we proclaim that we are not of this world but of the next. It is through joyful suffering that we give testimony to the world that our bodies are only temporary, and that the storehouse of riches that we have piled up are spiritual, eternal, and of dimensions beyond those of this universe.


Your devoted nephew,


Stan

Monday, January 1, 2001

Fr. John Hardon, S.J. - Our Eulogy

First, here is a link that will take you to an organization founded by Fr. Hardon and which contains some of his writings. It also appears to be the beginning effort for Fr. Hardon's sainthood.


Link to The Real Presence Association


From Pam Williams

I know that his prayers brought Stan and I into the church (along with the prayers of many others). I will never forget every encounter I had with this beloved man of God.

The first time was when Ed Wolfrum introduced Stan and I to him in the upstairs hallway of the education building at Assumption Grotto Church in Detroit. That's where his office and library were at the time. I'll never forget him asking me, "Are you Catholic?" I answered honestly, "No," and I wanted to add that I was a Christian, though, but I don't think it actually came out of my mouth. When I said no, I think he began praying for me. I didn't understand the real significance of that question until much later.

The next time I recall was at St. Joseph's Home for the Aged where Fr. Hardon became in need of care. It was Stan and my first meeting with Fr. Brown to begin the apostolate of the Communications Congregation which we have since made first promises to. Fr. Hardon peeked his head into the room where we were meeting to ask if Fr. Brown was going to join him for supper in the dining commons. I was struck by his appearance because his one eye was blind and he seemed so frail, and my heart went out to him.

The third time was again at St. Joseph's when Marie Coules took Stan and I upstairs to Fr. Hardon's room to greet him. I was wearing the Marian Miraculous Medal and St. Joseph medal that Ed had given me. I asked Fr. Hardon to bless them. He did so with water from Lourdes quite generously, and I was humbled.

The fourth time was again at St. Joseph's just outside the main floor ladies restroom. I was coming out when I saw Fr. Hardon approaching me on his way to the chapel accompanied by a nun and steadying himself on the side railing. I stepped up to him and said, "Fr. Hardon, the first time I met you, I was not a Catholic. Now I am, and I want to thank you for your prayers." He said something that I could not make out, so I asked him to repeat it. He said he would like to bless me. I said, "Oh, yes, please." When he said the blessing, he asked the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to rest upon me now and forever. And when he said, "...forever," it struck me that I was being blessed forever… forever! I began to cry, and backed away in tears watching that dear man of God slowly make his way on down to the chapel and enter the door with the nun's help. He was totally dependent on others, yet with a power within from a direct line of authority from God.

That was my last picture of him, my last encounter with Fr. Hardon here on Earth. My thanks forever to Ed Wolfrum, for introducing Stan and I to Fr. Hardon and for revering him (by his own godly example), so that we had the proper respect for such a gentle servant of God.

Pam Williams
Northville, MI
January 1, 2001

From Stan Williams

The first time I met Fr. Hardon, Pam and I were together. I think he asked me the same question he asked Pam a moment later, "Are you Catholic?" I said no, but that I was on my way into the church. I think I was in RCIA at the time. So, his second question to me was, "Who's your patron saint?" I had no idea I was even suppose to have one. I was still mostly Protestant, I suppose.  (This is told in some detail in my Conversion Memoir Growing Up Christian, and I think a bit more accurately and funny.)

Whenever I referred to him or saw him, I wanted to call him, and often did, Dr. Hardon, because I so respected his academic achievements. Of course, this too revealed my poor old Protestant mindset. It wouldn't be until I was a Catholic for a good 2 years or so before figured out that the title "Father" was far, far superior to "Doctor" unless the "Doctor" referred to being a Doctor of the Church, which there is little doubt that he will someday become. Ed Wolfrum told me Fr. Hardon had 7 earned Ph.D.s. That number came into question later on, but it was obvious the man was a master intellect.

And I think, in his humble yet confident way, he knew how smart he was…at least in Earthly terms. I recall listening to Ed's digital recordings of Fr. Hardon's Catechism classes. I had read some John Hardon by this time and was anxious to hear his verbal stabs and recitation of evidence, footnotes and personal anecdotes to support and "prove" the theses he was arguing. I suppose it was late in his life, and he no longer had the physical strength to cart half his library to the classroom. But I recall on numerous occasions on those tapes what will undoubtedly become a famous Hardon euphemism for QED. He would make his declarative topic statement (however outlandish it might be), provide a long pause to give your memory time to fill in the support, evidence and citations, and then he would state, just as emphatically, "And I should know!" There was nothing more to be said. And when Ed figures out the holographic algorithm for "And I should know!" you'll be able to see Fr. Hardon's well known smirk float in space just about 12 inches in front of the audio speaker.

I recall giving Fr. Hardon a pile of Moveguide magazines and asking him to send them off to the Vatican Library so the publisher could brag that his Protestant Christian (and occasionally anti-Catholic biased movie reviews) were "in the Vatican." I recall the excitement upon seeing Fr. Hardon get out of a car after a long hospital stay he sustained and my kneeling on the asphalt in my good suit so he could bless me, …again. I still use the Rosary that Ed gave me at my confirmation which he had received from Fr. Hardon and which Fr. Hardon had received from Mother Theresa of Calcutta. I remember Ed telling me stories about how Fr. Hardon, hard-of-hearing and sitting bent over in his Detroit office would be yelling into the speaker phone trying to carry on a conversation with equally hard-of-hearing Mother Teresa half a world a way and the signal badly delayed. I can remember the time Ed and I videotaped Fr. Hardon in his Detroit office as a promotional spot for a Catholic Holiness conference. Fr. Hardon could hardly look up at the camera, I felt so sorry for him. We had to do a second take, but not because Fr. Hardon blew his lines. He got so excited about what he was saying that he went way too long. When we asked him to shorten his lines to 2 minutes, I think he came in at 1 minute 58 seconds. Lastly, I recall Ed's great devotion to this man, even to a fault, at times. And I tell this with great tenderness for Fr. Hardon and Ed Wolfrum. As I was learning about Catholicism I would occasionally argue with my godfather, Ed Wolfrum about matters of doctrine and practice. As a life-long Bible thumbing Evangelical, the Bible was the ultimate authority for me. Until I saw the truth of the matter, it was hard to hear Ed telling me what the Catechism of the Catholic Church said before he first pointed out the applicable Scriptures. Today, when I'm talking to a Protestant or Evangelical I'll quote Scriptures before I reference the Catechism. But Ed, was different. When Ed would get riled up and angry with me because I just I had my Protestant brain on cockeyed, he didn't bother wasting time with the Bible or the Catechism. He'd go right to the primary source; he'd quote Fr. John Hardon. I tell you, St. Peter better brush up on his Hardon.

Someday, those that knew him best should write a book about this present and future saint. Ed can write the chapter "Laughing Out Loud with the Saints." Ed I hope you can remember all those jokes he told you. Fr. Hardon's were the best.

Stan Williams
Northville, MI
January 1, 2001

Saturday, December 25, 1999

Christmas Letter 1999 - Mary Christ Mass

Stan & Pam Williams
Northville, MI
Pam@StanWilliams.com

Merry Christmas 1999

Dear Friends and Relations,

(Pam writes.) Hi! We are still here. God has sustained us another year on planet earth! And it is our joy to live in the salvation of our God that is being celebrated at this time of year, and also to hear from you as to the blessings He has worked in your lives in the year of our Lord 1999.

January. By God's grace, Stan's love and care, and all of your prayers, I felt well enough after chemotherapy for lymphoma cancer to return to Clarenceville Middle School teaching Life Skills (drugs, sex, careers, first aid, health,… all the good stuff).

February. I completed my radiation treatments (Yeah!) and added more hours at work. Thank you to all for cards, books, visits, and prayers sent my way.

March. Stan and I traveled with my parents to Josh's final home basketball game in Annapolis. Go Navy! And many thanks to the Sponsor families who supported and nurtured Josh through the USNA.

April. Tom, my special brother, came to talk to my classes as part of people appreciation. He did such a good job and the kids loved him so much that he has already returned this year twice. Thanks, Tom!

May. The whole family joined us in Annapolis for Josh's graduation from the Naval Academy and his wedding three days later in the Naval Academy Chapel to his high school sweetheart, Christin Glovak.

June & July. Stan and I continued our five year search for an affordable sailboat with headroom. We had managed to do 90% of this shopping together. However, it was on one of Stan's solo business trips to San Diego in July that he spied the boat that was to end our shopping. He sealed the deal on the spot.

August. We became the long-awaited owners of a 41' sea-going ketch, which we affectionately named "Family Ties," hoping it would unite our family and friends with many fond hours on board. To bring "Family Ties" to a marina in Detroit, Stan had to dismantle and pack her in San Diego, in preparation for the trip across the states by truck to Detroit. Stan wrote an article about the whole process, complete with pictures, which was published in the January 2000 issue of "Cruising World Magazine." (Check it out!) Upon arrival in Detroit, we worked together to make her seaworthy again. My dad, brother, and even my mom helped with many of the readiness tasks. Thanks, everyone! Aunt Hope, Uncle Burt, and Tom braved an adventurous sail on the Detroit River, and, Trudy and Steve are waiting at the top of the reservation list for a sail next summer. At the end of the month, I started another year teaching the fun stuff.

September. April left her job at Childtime and started a full load of classes at Madonna University to complete a Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education. She'll live at home until her graduation. Josh and Christin moved to Athens, GA, where Josh is attending Supply School for 6 months. His orders from there are not certain, but the Navy could send them anywhere in the world, including the possibility of ship duty (without Christin) for 6 months at a time.

October. Trudy hosted her annual Crises Pregnancy Information Center Banquet with ease, while husband, Steve, pulled all the loose ends together, including rescuing the main speaker from his late flight at Metro Airport, and whisking him to the banquet on time. This month we also learned that Aunt Hope had cancer which put her on almost the identical schedule of chemo and radiation that I had last year. (Please pray with us for her final chemo treatment on Tues.,Dec. 28, and her continued strength to fight the battle. She is strong, spiritually and physically, especially for a woman of 84, but the treatments take their toll, and prayer makes such a difference.)

November. We were all together for an early Thanksgiving at the Glovaks'. They have been our friends since before Josh and Christin were an item, but it is fun to be formally connected now. Besides, Christin's mom, Jan, loves to cook, and we all benefit from that special gift.

December. Stan finished a proposal for a PBS documentary on the Catholic-Protestant debate as well as a spec script for "Touched by an Angel." Both have been long-term projects of many prayerful hours, seemingly driven by divine motivation, so their completion comes with a sense of anticipation as to their use. Only God knows from here.

Now, here we are, thinking back on this past year, thanking God for his many mercies and blessings in this Christmas season and as we approach the arrival of the year 2000.

Did you realize that the reason we call it 2000 is because of Christmas, too? Without the Church that Christ established, we would not have the dating system we have today. It was the Church that based dating upon the coming to earth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, 2000 years ago–the most significant event in all of human history. Man is truly without excuse when he looks at this global acceptance of recording time–AD, anno Domini (the year of our Lord). God has spoken so emphatically to get our attention.

Things we've learned this year about Christmas.

(Pam.) The fact that Christmas is celebrated globally is another phenomenal way that God has commanded the attention of the whole world to the birth of His Son. Even if some people don't understand the real reason to celebrate, those who refuse to celebrate it do understand…it is written in its name, Christ's Mass, so there can be no mistake. The first of those two words is what most of the world has disregarded…Christ. For Christians, of course, Christ is the focus of worship. He is the Messiah–God birthed among us. He came to save us through his wholly divine and wholly human sacrifice. He redeems us from the devil, from man's sin in the Garden, and from our sin everyday. So important is this birthing of Jesus, Son of God, son of Mary, that the Church proclaimed a feast day for us to celebrate on December 25 of each year.

But the second word in Christmas is the one that many Christians have disregarded…Mass. The Mass is the liturgical service established by the Apostles and Early Church Fathers to worship Christ.
(Stan interrupts.) It's easy to confirm that the form of the Mass and its function, which Catholics celebrate daily, has not changed much in 1900 years. And that's good. What is said and done in the Mass is what the Apostles (through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit) ask us to do. We had heard that the Mass had roots in the Jewish celebration of the Sabbath (Shabbat). But just yesterday we saw proof. Pam came across the Shabbat invocation in a Jewish publication. As Pam read it aloud goose bumps attacked our spines–the words were the same as those said during the invocation of The Celebration of the Eucharist in the Mass. By the way Shabbat means "a sweet taste of heaven" and the Mass has the same intention and direction.

(Back to Pam.) For me, Christmas has come to mean not only worshiping Christ, but worshiping Him in the Mass. The annual Christ's Mass (December 25 in the Western Church) is a special Mass that celebrates Christ's birth. But, the Mass is the central focus every day for Catholics of their devotion to Christ, because the central focus of the Mass is The Eucharist in which Christ is present.
(Pam.) Over the last two years we've realized how much criticism is directed toward Catholicism by Evangelicals. The amazing thing is that well educated Catholics don't return the favor even when Evangelicals make erroneous claims. Why aren't Catholics defensive or condemning toward other denominations? We think one reason is that Catholics have such great confidence in their doctrine due to the unique way it's been determined. It's unlike anything we've seen in any other Christian denomination.

(Stan writes.) The process by which Catholic doctrine is developed is an easy confidence builder. It starts by realizing that all Scripture must be interpreted. Sounds simple enough. But the key question is: Whose interpretation are you going to use? If there was an injury car accident and you were on the jury, whose testimony would you believe: those individuals who were present at the scene of the accident, or individuals who heard and read about the accident months later. While Protestant (Pt.) and Evangelical (Ev.) doctrine is based first on Catholic Doctrine, Protestants and Evangelicals have added and changed a plethora of doctrine based on the interpretations of their various church founders who lived hundreds and thousands years after the events. The Lutherans have Luther's interpretation, the Presbyterians look to the interpretations of John Calvin, and the Free Methodists use the interpretations of B.T. Roberts and his cohorts. But the Catholic Church is different. It's based resolutely on the interpretations of the Early Church Fathers (ECF)–the men who were taught by the Apostles. This foundation is known as Apostolic Tradition. Any new belief or practice that comes along, which is contrary to ECF interpretation is always rejected. In 1076, Pope Gregory VII wrote to another bishop what the church has believed from the beginning concerning the development of Catholic Doctrine:
"Your Prudence may learn with absolute certainty not from yourself but from the unanimous opinion of the holy fathers. Whenever we have rendered judgment in church affairs we have preserved and followed their decrees, not putting forth novelties or things of our own devising but carrying out in practice what they proclaimed through the Holy Spirit." (Gregory VI, Oct. 28, 1076 in a letter to Bishop Henry of Liége).
Christ knew there would be heretics and all manner of attractive people that would come along and point to the Scriptures and proclaim, "This is what the Bible means, not that…look, I can prove it to you with Scripture." In logic we call this "circular reasoning." It's a fallacy. So, Christ in his infinite wisdom, gives a select body of ordained individuals the Holy Spirit and a promise. Look at John 20:22-23 and the tight connection between the Holy Spirit and the promise of infallibility. "Jesus breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.'" Without such an ordination that passes the infallible power of the Holy Spirit into the doctrine-making equation, you have heresy or spurious doctrine at best.

St. Paul makes it clear in two N.T. verses that the basis of truth is not just Scripture but also the interpretation rendered by the Church. In 2 Thess. 2:15 Paul writes, "So then brethren, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter." This says there are things taught by the Apostles and the ECF which were not written down, but were traditions, things passed on as truth.

The next question is, "What then is the pillar and bulwark (or protector) of the truth?" As an Evangelical-Protestant my first answer would have been "Christ!" But, Christ IS the truth, he's not the instrument that protects and interprets the truth. My second answer as an Evangelical-Protestant would have been "The Bible!" But the Bible says something different. St. Paul, in writing to Timothy says that the "pillar and bulwark of the truth" is the Church (1 Timothy 3:15).

So throughout the centuries (from 70 A.D. to the present) whenever Scriptures seem ambiguous in the face of potential heretical teachings, the Church looks to how the ECF interpreted the Word of God. It was based on this Apostolic Tradition that the Church knew when to clarify a doctrine or when to reject a belief as heresy. Without Apostolic Tradition founders of new denominations (from Lutheran onward) were forced to use some other basis of interpretation. With no standard or fundamental interpretive basis, thousands of denominations sprang up, just the sort of thing Christ was trying to stop by giving Peter the keys to the kingdom in John 20.

(Pam.) I love the way I was raised. My parents were the absolute best and still are to this day. They were the first to teach me about Jesus. So, when I heard the salvation message about Christ's crucifixion and resurrection told in a flannel-graph at a Bible Club in my public school at age 8, I accepted His sacrifice for me and became a Christian. Two years later my family switched from the Baptist Church to the Free Methodist Church, and that is where Stan and I met with a similar understanding of the Scriptures.

(Stan & Pam.) From this upbringing, we thought we knew the Bible inside and out and were living the Gospel message in our lives. Then we met up with the Full Gospel people of Bethesda Missionary Temple, later the Assemblies of God, and after that the Missionary Alliance that was soon to become independent Restoration Fellowship. There were also times when we attended Lutheran, Vineyard, Presbyterian, Episcopal, independent seeker and the late-comer Charismatic-Orthodox churches. Each time we thought we had found the fullness of the Christian message or at least something that suited our taste.

(Pam.) But it was not until Stan wanted to investigate the Catholic Church that what "we believed" became secondary to what might actually be "true and right." Stan's learning about Catholicism forced me to look at things we had been indoctrinated against. To my surprise, we discovered a fullness and historic authenticity that was beyond what any Evangelical church had been able to teach us. Why? Because of Protestant's rejection of Apostolic Tradition and just about all church history from 70 A.D. to 1517 A.D..

I also began to understand the authority that Christ gave to the Church through the Apostles. As Rosalynn Moss, a converted Jew, turned Evangelical, turned Catholic says, "If God gave us the Word of God, wouldn't He also have given us a way to understand [interpret] it?" Her remark was in response to all the different interpretations you find in Protestantism as evidenced by the 22,000 plus denominations. It didn't make sense to her (nor to Stan). But, if you believe that God did give us an authoritative way to interpret His Word, then you would have to accept that authority, wouldn't you? Well, I have come to believe that Christ gave that authority to the Church through Peter and the Apostles, with one head (the Pope, succeeded from Peter) and a Magisterium (the Bishops succeeded from the Apostles)! It's in the Bible that way. Yet, Protestants have chosen their own traditions by which to interpret these passages.

(Stan.) How many of our Protestant-Evangelical friends have questioned the teachings, laws, or practices of the churches they've attended? The solution, like us, was to pickup and look elsewhere, as if our own minds and tastes were infallible judges of what was right. Pam and I would argue about something in a particular church that one of us liked and the other thought was wrong. Who's to say? What's the standard? The Bible? We both pulled out Scriptures that suited us. We still disagreed. Was this the unity Christ prayed for in the Garden before he died? I doubted it. I've met numerous men and women (including relatives) who have left a church because they didn't think the doctrine was right and started a church of their own.

(Pam.) Here is the bottom line, Stan and I have come to accept that the authority Christ gave to the Apostles to establish His Church is still there today in the "one holy catholic and apostolic Church," (Nicene Creed), and we joined the Catholic Church (separately over the past 2 years). We just want you to know that we have had heavenly things opened up to us, including the Communion of Saints, Mary, the Eucharist, Sacraments, the Mass, all that Christ put there for us to experience as His people in His Body! And, to us, this is the fullness of the Gospel we have longed for! That is what has made this such an exciting year for us. And, during Christmas, with the plethora of images depicting Mary and the baby Jesus about all we see are three of the important elements of the church given to us by God: Mary, Christ, and the Mass.

So, Mary ChristMass.

We welcome questions and/or comments and look forward to what the next year will bring.

May God bless you all!

In His love,
Pam (and Stan) Williams

P.S. (Stan) What we're learned this year needs a preface, but the preface is ending up here as a postscript. Pam and I are not taken easily to hearsay. When people tell us things that seem different from our experience or culture we naturally doubt it. For someone in authority to direct or command our thoughts or actions, we naturally take offense. You're probably the same way. We're skeptical people. We prefer to do our own research, which we continue to do. Therefore, in that context, what we have shared with you seems trustworthy. We believe that if we don't tell you these things we will be held accountable at the judgement. If we are wrong about some of these things our Christian brothers and sisters are responsible for correcting us with evidence and reason. And likewise, if they don't they will be held accountable. So, we invite you to research and reason with us, but don't cast these things off lightly. Our salvation and the salvation of the world hangs in the balance.

Sunday, July 4, 1999

A Little Summary on the Authority of the Church

[The reaction to Pam's January 1999 letter of her conversion to Catholicism stirred up signifiant resentment, anger, and misunderstanding among our friends and relatives. It was as if we had become Democrat and donned their historic mantel of slavery. She wrote this letter in response. It didn't help. Prejudices run deep.]

Pamela Sue Williams
July, 1999

All of you know about the Matthew 18: 15-18 passage telling believers how to handle disputes among us. (Confront the person in private. Bring others with you. Take the matter to the Church). So, what is the final authority? The Church is. The Church has the final say, not man’s opinions. Matthew 18 doesn’t say, search the scripture about this matter, because the dispute many times is over scripture itself and what it means, what it teaches. Likewise, we know that when 2 or 3 are gathered in Christ’s name, He is there in the midst of us. But what if the 2 or 3 disagree? Matthew 18 does not say if you disagree, start your own church (as 26,000 denominations have done). It says take it to the Church! And whoever does not listen to the Church’s decision should be cast out of the Christian community/the Church.

All of you know that Protestant believers hold that Scripture alone is where we derive Truth from God (Sola Scriptura). When we believe that, we often go church hopping. (Maybe some of you have been there. I have.) Why do we do that? Because we are looking for a church that agrees with us. So, what is the final authority? We are. But our intellect cannot be the final authority on God. 

"Oh," but you say, "it’s not me alone. It’s the Holy Spirit leading me into all truth, as the scripture says." (I’ve said it myself in defense of Sola Scriptura). But does scripture say that we (you and I) have the final say? No, it says that the Church has the final say; the Church that Christ established and gave authority to through Peter and the Apostles. Again, if we say that we and scripture alone are the final authority (with the Holy Spirit) we end up having to try to find a church that agrees with us, and I never found one I agreed with on every doctrine, so does that tell me I should start a church of my own and make that 26,001?or stay in a church I agree with on the majority of doctrines and ignore the ones I don’t agree with? (I did that a lot). Or do I investigate the Church Christ established and discover what it really teaches? I was encouraged by Stan to do the latter, and may I please tell you one thing I learned that clears up 1,000 other issues for me about the Church? It has to do with the authority of the Catholic Church.

When the first heresy came up in the early Church (Acts 15) what did they do? This was when a deacon [according to writings of the early Church Fathers, his name was Nicholas, who is mentioned in the original list of deacons in Acts 6 as a convert to Judaism] at Antioch was teaching that Gentiles who became Christians had to be obedient to Old Testament law and be circumcised! They followed the steps of Matthew 18! The matter had been brought to Paul and Barnabas, but they could not resolve it, so they brought it to the Church, the apostles and elders in Jerusalem at that time. There was much debate over the issue until Peter stood up and declared his answer, and then the whole crowd fell silent, held their peace, they shut up. The rest of the discourse is the other leaders (Paul, Barnabas, and James) echoing Peter’s decision and/or implementing the decision made. Peter’s word settled the dispute, and circumcision was never brought up again.

Also, in Acts 11:18 after hearing Peter on the issue of the gospel being taken to the Gentiles, the leaders of the Church held their peace, stopped objecting, and glorified God. The dispute was settled.

Later, in 451 AD, when heresy arose that Christ had only a divine nature, the matter was brought to the Church. When Pope Leo the Great declared that the teaching of the Church was Christ is one person with two natures, wholly human and wholly divine, the Fathers of the Council erupted with joy and said, "Peter has spoken through Leo, the question is settled," because Peter spoke for Christ… and I’ll bet you never knew where that particular doctrine that Protestants still hold (and many others, including the Trinity, that are not explicitly spelled out in scripture) came from…. from decisions over heretical teachings that the Church with its authority from Christ, had to take a stand on to declare what was Truth.

That’s the true meaning of the scripture "…and the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth."…the way Christ established it should be done, that is through the Authority of the Church. In Acts 15:28, when the Early Church communicated its decision on circumcision, their statement was, "It is the decision of the Holy Spirit and of us (the Apostles/the magisterium of the Church)…" And so, even today, the Holy Spirit speaks through the magisterium of the Church, because the Pope (with the Council of Bishops--like Peter and the Apostles) speaks with the authority of Christ.

Now, really, like in 451 AD, if someone had come to you with the question about Jesus’ divinity and humanity (before you knew the answer of the Holy Spirit), what would you have said? And even if you did have the right answer, why should anyone listen to you or to me? We were not given authority by Christ to say what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Church. The Keys of authority were given uniquely to Peter, just like a king would delegate authority to his Prime Minister! We know that Jesus is the King (Rev. 2:4). And we know that He delegated His authority to carry on His work to His Church… and uniquely to Peter (Matt. 16:15-18--You, referring to Peter, is used 7 times in this passage, and it is the personal pronoun being used, not collective). So, Peter is Christ’s Prime Minister or Pope, and on matters of Church doctrine/Truth, he is infallible, because he speaks for Christ.


When I believe that, the rest is easy, because if I believe that Christ delegated his authority to Peter and the Apostles, and upon them He built His Church, then when the Church speaks, it is the Word of God on the matter. My intellect is now in submission to the authority of Jesus Christ as established in His Church. I am no longer looking for a church to agree with me. I am seeking to agree with His Church! As a Catholic, I am not free to disagree with even one of the disciplines of the Church just because I do not like them. The Church has the Word of Christ on all matters of faith and morals, so I can happily obey, and there is freedom and peace/resolution in this kind of obedience. There is also humility to think that I don’t have all the proper interpretation on scripture that I thought I once had and that I must become like a little child and learn. …But isn’t that what Christ asks us to become to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?

Monday, January 4, 1999

Dear Ones...we're Catholic!

[An open letter from Pam to our friends and relatives after her conversion to Catholicism. "Unhappy" was not an accurate description of their reaction.]

Pamela Sue Williams
January 4, 1999

Dear Ones,

I have hesitated to write this, because I know how opposed I was to hearing Stan’s decision to do this only a year ago. I also know that some of you will be unhappy when I tell you about my own decision. The Catholic church has not been perfect, and it may have needed protesting against in times past for its various wrong practices. But I have come to see, over this past year, that it is the church that Jesus established, and that despite its wayward practices of the middle ages, (and they were dark indeed) it has remained doctrinally solid these 2,000 years.

The problem in most cases, where there is disagreement between Protestants and Catholics, has been in communication of beliefs and doctrines. Many supposed differences are really misunderstandings or misinformed rumor. Once I read and heard the truth about what they believe, I could not deny that the Catholic church is still the true church Christ established. Catholics call Protestants their "separated brethren," but we are both Christians, and God wants His church to be united. Perhaps our separation was justified for awhile as the Catholic church went through some dark times, but today it is back on track. Plus, it has never varied from its historical doctrines dating back to the Apostles. (What we have seen changes in have been practices.)

One beautiful doctrine Catholics believe in is the "communion of saints,"… those who have passed out of this world as well as those of us who remain. All the saints are alive,… just not all in this world. The Catholic church practices communion with these saints who have died but are still alive in Christ. I have come to see this as a beautiful thing that is real and true to me.

I do not have a problem with any of the other doctrines I used to think separated us either. And I especially find an answer to the scriptures regarding Jesus’ emphasis on being the true bread, and if anyone does not eat of his flesh and drink of his blood, he cannot have eternal life (John 6:30-60). For me, this can only be settled by the Mass, where through the Prayer of blessing by Christ from the Priest (not unlike the Jewish Priests sacrificing the lamb and sprinkling its blood), the bread becomes Christ’s body and the wine becomes his blood for us to consume as the Lamb of God, sacrificed for our sins.

I have thought about this long and hard and I have had many appointments with Father Cronk at St. James Church in Novi. I have read and prayed, argued with Stan, cried, and had Catholic friends over and out to dinner to probe them with questions. After all was said and done, at the risk of offending some of my Protestant friends and family, I have come to the decision that I’d be wrong not to become Catholic. I hope you will not see this decision as a betrayal or a short-sighted move. I’d like you to consider it as a step in my Christian walk that has opened up new doors to bring me even closer to the God I have always loved and served since I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was eight years old.

I am truly thankful for the godly upbringing I received and for the Protestant ways I hold dear. They are not diminished or compromised by becoming Catholic. In fact, they are enhanced and expanded to include the early church Traditions established by the Apostles.

I know many of you will not understand (I know I wouldn’t have a year ago), and so I want you to know I will be glad to answer any questions I may have raised in your mind. In the meantime, if you are able and willing, you may join me on Saturday, January 23, at 6:00pm (or when 5:00 Mass is over) at St. James Church on 10 Mile (between Taft and Beck), as I receive the Sacrament of Baptism and Confirmation at that time into the Catholic church. I will not be offended if you choose not to come. I just want you to know when and where the event will take place.

I love you all and have benefited greatly from your kind notes of love and encouragement and your many prayers during my battle with cancer. My treatments are nearly done… one more month to go of 22 radiations. I am thankful for God’s wake-up call to me, to see some old issues in a new light while passing through the valley of the shadow of death. Soon I will be ready to go back to work, stronger for all I have been through, physically and spiritually. I am so thankful to all of you for your support, and hope we can continue to support one another in our journey here below.

Love,
Pam Williams

P.S. As I added personal messages onto the real paper/regular mail letters I mailed yesterday to people not hooked up to E-Mail, one thing kept coming to mind, so I will add it here.
I really wish that all of Christ’s Church would come together — Protestants and Catholics alike!

I do hope this letter helps you to understand my own reason for embracing something that used to seem so foreign. I don’t expect it will in most cases, as it took me over a year, and I had time to study it, …but I wanted to try.