'I'm Not Promiscuous'

Scarlett Johansson claims "I'm not promiscuous" -- according to a CNN.com post (8:46 a.m. EDT, October 10, 2006).

The report claims Ms. Johansson said,

There does seem to be a mistaken belief out there that I am sexually available somehow -- which is not to say that I'm not open-minded about sex...but I wouldn't say I'm a serial monogamist, either.... I work really hard when I'm in a relationship to make it work in a monogamous way.

This would be funny if it wasn't such a classic example of fallacious logic that falls under the category of "distinction without a difference" or "fallacy of fake precision." I could be wrong here -- but I don't think you can marginalize monogamy? (Ooops, sorry. This is America.)

The capstone sound byte, however, was saved for last. The "not promiscuous" star says:

I get tested for HIV twice a year. ... One has to be socially aware... It's part of being a decent human, to be tested for STDs. It's just disgusting behavior when people don't. It's so irresponsible.

Aside from the obvious contradiction, notice the great leap of logic here. It might be socially responsible to contract HIV and spread it around, but it's irresponsible not to get tested.

This is an example of why our educational system needs to teach logic along with basic reading, writing and arithmetic to every kid in school. I mean, what good does it do if you can read, write, and calculate a statistic if your social intercourse is so fallacious?

Suddenly, the inside of a whale's belly smells refreshing.